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Facts and Myths

We fact-check popular myths about domestic and family violence. Here, you can learn the truth. 

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Knowing the truth about domestic and family violence helps us support people who have experienced it. It can help us see our own situation. We can be kinder to ourselves. We can let go of guilt and shame.

MYTH: Family violence is rare. It doesn't affect many people. 

FACT: Family violence is common. 1 in 4 Australian women experience physical or sexual violence by an intimate partner. It causes serious problems.

 

MYTH: Only low-income families are affected. 

FACT: Domestic violence occurs in all kinds of families. It happens regardless of money, suburb, race, job, religion, or age.

 

MYTH: Only people partnered with men face domestic violence.

FACT: People in all kinds of relationships experience violence at home. Men are often, but not always, responsible.

Violence can happen:

  • In LGBTQIA+ relationships
  • Between family members, like siblings, parents and adult children.
  • Between a person with a disability and their carer or support worker.

 

MYTH: Family violence happens because men get angry and lose control. 

FACT: Family violence is a choice. It is about gaining control. Many men who are violent at home can control their temper elsewhere.

 

MYTH: Domestic violence is a problem with anger control. 

FACT: Domestic violence is a tool some people use to get control. It is not a sign of lost control.

 

MYTH: Everyone who acts violently has low self-esteem. Everyone who experiences violence and abuse has low self-esteem. 

FACT: All different types of people behave violently. All different types of people experience domestic violence. People who live with emotional and physical abuse can lose self-esteem over time.

 

MYTH: Domestic violence happens only once or twice in a relationship. 

FACT: Violence often gets worse over time.

MYTH: Family violence happens because women provoke men. 

FACT: There is no excuse for family violence. It happens because someone chooses to behave violently.

 

MYTH: Some people want to be beaten. They ask for it. They deserve it. 

FACT: No one deserves abuse. If someone experiences violence, it is not their fault. Women with disability do not deserve abuse. Transgender people do not deserve abuse. No one does.

MYTH: If a woman were in real danger, she would leave. If she hasn't left, it can't be that bad. 

FACT: Leaving an abusive relationship can be dangerous. Women might stay for many reasons, like fear. They may have financial worries. They may hold out hope that things will improve.

 

MYTH: Only physical violence counts as family violence. 

FACT: Family violence can be:

  • Emotional or psychological
  • Sexual
  • Financial
  • Physical
  • Anything else that is about one person controlling another.

All forms of violence are harmful.

 

MYTH: Lots of women make false claims about family violence. Many say the abuse is worse than it is. 

FACT: False claims about family violence are rare. Women are more likely to say that the abuse is not so bad, when it really is.

 

MYTH: Children aren't aware of the violence at home. 

FACT: Most children are aware of violence that happens to a parent.

 

MYTH: Children are not at risk of being hurt or injured. 

FACT: People who abuse their partners are more likely to hurt their children, too.

1800 RESPECT

If you experience violence or abuse you can contact 1800 RESPECT for support and counselling.
Call 1800 737 732 or go to the 1800 RESPECT website to chat with someone online (external link).

‍To contact 1800RESPECT via SMS, text ‘HELLO’ or any greeting to 0458 737 732 to start the conversation.

Becoming safer

This section of the website focuses on your safety. It has information to help you decide if a relationship is abusive. It shares tools to be safer in a violent situation. It talks about planning for a safer future, like if you leave violence behind. We also share tips to be safe online.

Find out more

Getting help to be safe from violence and abuse

You might need somewhere safe to stay or money to change the locks on your house. Perhaps you want to talk to a kind and caring person. Whatever you need, support is available when you've experienced violence or abuse. Some services focus on helping people with disability. Here, we share resources to help you build a safer, healthier life.

Find out more

Resources.

May 13, 2024

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Patricia Giles Centre for Non-Violence

You have rights - Easy Read

A guide for women with disability experiencing family and domestic violence.

Check resource

May 13, 2024

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Patricia Giles Centre for Non-Violence

Your rights

A guide for women with disability and mothers of children with disability who have experience of family and domestic violence.

Check resource

May 13, 2024

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SECCA

Online dating

Information about online dating.

Check resource

May 4, 2024

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1800 RESPECT

Escape bag checklist

If you are going to leave a relationship, deciding what to take with you is an important step in creating a safety plan. This checklist helps you plan what you may need to take if you need to leave.

Check resource

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Facts and Myths

We fact-check popular myths about domestic and family violence. Here, you can learn the truth. 

.