Most people have sexual thoughts, attitudes, feelings and desires. Having a physical or intellectual disability doesn't change that but disabilities can affect sex. Here, we discuss sex and disability, including what to do if sex isn't working for you.
Sex is different for everyone. You can find happiness and connection in your way. Stay curious and seek support if you need it. You can learn to say what you want.
The World Health Organisation says that sexuality is part of being human. It can't be separated from other parts of life.
Sex happens in all different ways, like:
It's a good idea to keep an open mind. We share more ideas about ways you can feel good on the Neve page Pleasure (internal link). You might also want to look at the Neve page on Dating (internal link).
You always have the right to say no to sex. Maybe you've had bad experiences. Maybe sex hurts. Maybe you just don't want to. Whatever the reason, sex is not something you have to do. Learn more on the Neve page about Consent (internal link). There is also a Neve page about Saying no and setting boundaries (internal link).
Having sex can feel good, but it can also be hard work. For some people, sex can hurt or be uncomfortable.
To reduce pain:
Health workers like physiotherapists can help you deal with injuries or pain related to sex. They can also help you feel good in other parts of your life, which is a great way to have better sex!
You might feel embarrassed talking about sex but it is a normal part of life. You have the right to get the help you need.
People who want to have sex might look for a monogamous relationship. That means a relationship with two people who only have sex with each other. Or they might try different kinds of partners and situations. Dating apps and websites with casual hook-ups can help people try new things. Each time they meet someone new, they learn more about what they want, enjoy and like.
Other people explore sex on their own. They might try masturbating, listening to sexy stories or watching porn.
However, you have sex, remember that:
For women and gender-diverse people with disabilities, sex can be challenging and exciting. It can be hard to:
If you need help, talk to a counsellor or therapist . You can learn to cope and become stronger.
Some people think that people with disabilities shouldn't have sex. They might:
In that case, talk to someone else you trust. Ask their advice. There might be solutions to the problem that you haven't thought of yet.
You can ask for help and ideas about sex from:
Many people get help for their sex life. You are not alone. If you don't find the help you need at first, find someone else you feel comfortable with and try again.
This section invites you to consider your place in our community. We discuss diversity. We explain intersectionality. How do these big ideas influence you day-to-day? What do you share with others around you? What makes you different? What makes you unique?
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