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One way to speak up for yourself is to be assertive. This means clearly and politely asking for what you need and want. Being assertive is a skill. It can help you communicate better, reduce stress, and improve your life. Here, you can learn how to speak up for yourself well.
Being assertive is a way of speaking up for yourself. It means talking clearly about what you want and don't want. It helps you solve problems and cooperate with others.
When you're assertive, you express yourself honestly and directly. The people around you understand you better, and you have more meaningful relationships.
Speaking up for yourself will not solve every problem, and people may still disagree with you at times. However, being assertive shows that you take your needs seriously.
Being assertive is not only okay, it is a good idea.
Being assertive can feel scary at first, but it helps you live well. Speaking up for yourself makes you more likely to get what you need and feel good.
Assertive and aggressive people speak up in very different ways.
Being assertive is about direct communication. You respect yourself and you respect others too. It allows everyone involved to express their needs and opinions without ignoring the rights of others.
Assertive communication is:
Aggressive people are forceful. They demand what they want at the expense of other people's rights and feelings.
Aggressive communication can be:
Being passive is the opposite of being assertive. Passive people:
Passive people don't like upsetting others but it can make them frustrated and resentful. They might know what they want, but they don't do anything to get it.
Some people with intellectual disabilities may agree or say yes to questions as a way of coping with stress. This is different from being passive.
The person may want to hide the fact that they don't understand. Maybe they don't want to get into trouble. You can learn more in Inclusion Australia's Inclusion-Power-and-Trust-a-Guide.pdf (external link).
Speaking up for yourself has many advantages. It can:
If you struggle to speak up for yourself, remember it's a skill you can learn. Here are some tips to help you get started.
Use "I" statements. Start your sentences with "I" not "You". Instead of saying, "You make me feel sad when..." say, "I feel sad when...". That way, you can express your emotions without blaming the other person. They are more likely to respond well.
Be clear. Say what you want or need. Be specific. Keep it brief: it will help the other person focus on your message.
Listen to others. Be curious about what the other person thinks, feels and wants.
Set boundaries. Say no to things you don't want. For example, you could say, "I won't talk to you if you keep yelling. Let's take a break." It can ensure that your rights are respected.
Use confident body language. Think about how to use your body to communicate confidence. You could:
See a counsellor. If you struggle to speak up for yourself, get professional help. A counsellor can help you learn how to be more assertive.
Thanh has been working at her current company for five years. She works hard and is an expert in her field. However, she hasn't gotten a promotion or a pay rise. Thanh knows she often avoids conflict and fails to stand up for herself. She decides to become more assertive. She begins to speak up during team meetings and performance reviews. She tells people what she did and what she wants. Her boss pays attention. Eventually, Thanh gets a promotion.
We all have the right to live full and flourishing lives, free from violence and abuse. This section looks at the history of human rights and United Nations conventions. We also outline the rights of women and gender-diverse people with disabilities in the Australian legal system.
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