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A boundary is something we won't do or won't accept from others. It can be about touch, like saying no to hugging. It can be about words, like saying no to insults or yelling. Clear boundaries help us feel good. They make relationships more healthy. Here, you can learn what boundaries look like. You can get help setting yours.
Examples of boundaries include:
These are just examples. Choose boundaries that are right for you.
People need and want different things. The point of a boundary is that it helps YOU feel safe, calm and respected.
It is not selfish to say no to things that make you feel bad. Boundaries help you look after your health and happiness. They make your life better. They improve relationships, too.
To set boundaries, you have to be assertive. It means you ask for what you want in a direct and polite way. Saying what you need and want gives you more control. Learn how to be assertive on the Neve page Speaking up for yourself (internal link).
You can have boundaries without being selfish or rude. It doesn't mean you don't care about other people. It helps friends, your family and your partner understand you better. Your relationships can improve.
Boundaries help us have healthy relationships. Setting boundaries with a friend, family member, partner or supporter can lead to:
Joan and Tess want to live together as friends. But sometimes, when they disagree, Joan yells at Tess. This makes Tess feel upset. She does not like yelling or loud noises. Joan and Tess sit down to talk about the problem. Tess tells Joan, “When we argue, please don't yell. It makes me feel upset. I don't want to move in together if you cannot respect this boundary.”
We all have the right to live full and flourishing lives, free from violence and abuse. This section looks at the history of human rights and United Nations conventions. We also outline the rights of women and gender-diverse people with disabilities in the Australian legal system.
Find out moreOne way to speak up for yourself is to be assertive. This means directly and politely asking for what you need and want. Being assertive is a valuable skill. It can help you communicate better, reduce stress, and improve your life. Here, you can learn the difference between being assertive and being passive or aggressive. You can learn how to speak up for yourself well.
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